Illinois’ 2024 schedule is brutal. Welcome to the new Big Ten!

For those who believe, the golf gods can give worthy duffers the perfect backspin to unexpectedly hole a pitch.

For those who believe, the basketball gods can rescue a 1-of-15 shooting night with a contested 30-foot triple pump fadeaway hook shot hitting nothing but net in the biggest game of the year.

For those who believe, the college football gods can shift the wind one mile per hour so your hated rival’s game-winning field goal doinks off the post.

If you’re a Fighting Illini fan, if you believe, those same college football gods spit on you from on high with acidic saliva that poisons your entire life.

(Okay, I guess I just went back on my word about avoiding hyperbole in this space.)

Seriously, what’s up with the 2024 schedule? Is this a punishment? What did Illinois ever do to you, Mr. Schedule Maker?

Photo by Alex Trautwig/MLB Photos

Did Illinois flirt…