Is he Mr. Right? These 5 Questions Will Let You Know!
If I had a crystal ball, I’d say your dream is probably one of finding a good man to share your life with.
To make it happen you get out there and date.
One day he shows up either online or in real life and it turns out he just might have that long term relationship potential you’ve been looking for.
But then you get scared and start second-guessing yourself with questions like “How do I know if he’s a good man for me?”
Let me put your mind at ease.
Here are 5 questions you can ask yourself that will quickly help you decide whether or not he’s good for you.
Question #1 – Do I really like him or is the chemistry clouding my judgment?
What’s the first thing you’re looking for when you meet a new man?
Is it an attraction factor and chemistry?
You’re not alone if you are looking for these 2 qualities but the problem with hot chemistry is it’s just a release of the feel-good bonding hormone, Oxytocin.
And you can end up mixing up lust and love which can cause problems for you because you fall in love/lust with a man you really don’t know.
You might even marry quickly.
The sex is amazing until one day you find yourself lying in bed with a stranger and you wonder what happened.
Been there. Done that and its a recipe for disaster.
If I’d been smart, I’d have slowed that relationship down and started asking questions like . . .
- Did I like the way he treated me (outside the bedroom)?
- Did I like how the two of us communicated together?
- Did I think he was interesting?
Had I taken the time to ask these questions, I’d have realized, we had some problems.
The BIG LESSON I learned was it’s easier to fall in love than in like with a man, yet like is what you need for creating a sustainable long-term relationship together.
Question #2 – Do I respect him?
Over time, it’s hard to sustain a relationship with a man you don’t respect.
Men feel this lack of respect and they see it as looking “less than” in your eyes . . . something no man wants to feel with a woman he loves.
A man wants and needs your respect.
If you don’t respect him for exactly who he is and how he handles his life, then you’ll want to move on.
Otherwise you’re settling.
Question #3 – Do I have fun with him when we’re together?
So this question kind of reverts back to question #1 asking whether you like him or the chemistry.
Cause when you have intense chemistry, most of your fun is happening in the bedroom or in all the flirtatious sexting you do all day long.
This just isn’t sustainable over time.
And that’s why it’s important to be with a man who can bring a smile to your face and make you laugh.
You want someone you really enjoy being with.
Question #4 – Do we like and want the same things in life?
They say opposites attract.
And that is true.
I once went out with a man where the chemistry was amazing but we didn’t share the same values so it never would have worked.
You really do want to be on the same page with someone when it comes to how you both lead your lives.
If you aren’t, it’s hard to make it work.
Back in my 40’s, when I first started dating, I would create lists of qualities I wanted in a man.
And sure enough, I’d meet a man who had about 90% of the qualities I wanted.
Yet the relationship just didn’t work out.
Why, because we didn’t share the same values.
Make sure whatever values are important to you are equally important to him.
You want a man who slips easily into your life and you into his.
Question #5 – Does he accept me for who I am?
Let’s face it, as women, we can be real people pleasers.
When you’re pleasing others, you end up bending like a pretzel to accommodate someone else’s needs while giving up your own.
You want a man who loves, adores and cherishes you for being you.
If he’s trying to change you or you find yourself hiding pieces of who you are, he may not be the right man for you.
Hi Lisa, I wanted to let you know that thanks to your excellent training in the Love after 50 Group, and my genuine desire to be in a committed relationship, I have met a wonderful man and we are madly in love with one another!!! I used the information from your group to help me evaluate whether this relationship was a good fit for me. The funny thing is that on our first date I wasn’t really that interested in him but I remembered what you said about giving it a chance and to have an open mind. Boy am I glad I did because as it turns out he is the perfect man for me and we are very compatible on a love, friendship, and physical level. I am amazed at how I was able to attract a man who fit my description/desires/values from my Quality Man Template to a tee! Thanks again for your wonderful training and insights. Please feel free to share my story as I’m sure it will be inspiring to other women seeking their perfect mates. Pat, California
Did any of this resonate with you? If so, I’d love to hear what you think. Just post by pressing the button below.
Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.
Copyright© 2019 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.