In times of hardship, America turns to its favorite voices of comfort: brands.

Okay, not really, but Wednesday’s Storming of the Capitol was an event simply too big to ignore, particularly for corporations on social media who felt compelled to put out a statement condemning the riot. This led to several bizarre, serious statements from companies whose role in public life usually amounts largely to goofy ads and How Do You Do, Fellow Kids? social media presences.

It was reminiscent of corporate responses to the Black Lives Matter protests of Summer 2020, where companies were put in the awkward position of having to say something, even if their product is completely unrelated to the situation at hand.

By far, the creme-de-la-creme of these came from AXE Body Spray, who commented on a shot of a lone can of AXE in the rubble from the Capitol protest by affirming AXE’s commitment to “the democratic process and the peaceful transition of power.”

We’d rather be lonely than with that mob. AXE condemns yesterday’s acts of violence and hate at the Capitol. We believe in the democratic process and the peaceful transition of power. https://t.co/vX727ZfvS8

— AXE (@AXE) January 7, 2021

Other companies such as Coca-cola and Chevron jumped in to post more official-looking statements regarding the riot, with both companies also championing how much they believed in the democratic process.

We call for the peaceful transition of the U.S. government. The violence in Washington, D.C. tarnishes a two-century tradition of respect for the rule of law. We look forward to engaging with President-Elect Biden and his administration to move the nation forward.

— Chevron (@Chevron) January 7, 2021

https://t.co/dsNXzLzuae pic.twitter.com/DPWhfbxa0R

— The Coca-Cola Co. (@CocaColaCo) January 7, 2021

Bagel Bites, one of the more jocular brands on Twitter, went off the cuff and for the jugular in a deleted tweet expressing their take that Donald Trump probably hates people like…

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