When you’re trying to figure out if an over 50’s man is right for you . . .


Before working with a new client, I’ll ask her what she’s looking for in the man she’d like to share her heart and life with.

Most women tell me they want to feel chemistry and immediate attraction to a man.

It’s a feeling they say.

They just know if he’s the one right away.

I get it good looks are nice to come home to every day.

And chemistry . . . well, it just feels good!

But these two qualities don’t create long-term compatibility and that’s probably what you are looking for, right?

Both attraction and chemistry fade over time so something else needs to be there if you want your relationship to grow and go the long haul.

Here are some questions worth considering when you’re trying to decide whether or not a man who is not so cute is worth getting to know.

Will he bring you soup when you’re sick?
Will he stop at the store and get you what you need even if it is a bit out of the way?
Will he bring you flowers and tell you “I love you” even when it’s not your birthday?
Will he rearrange his schedule to drive you to the airport so you don’t have to hoist that suitcase out of your car or worry about parking before and after your trip?
When you’ve had a hard day, will he rub your back or bring you a glass of wine and give you a much-needed hug?
Or will he get up and do the dishes after dinner?
And, most importantly, will he look in your eyes like you are the best thing that ever happened to him?
And, when you’re dating, will he take your trash out to the curb so you don’t have to?

In your 20’s you were looking for a spouse to have children with.

In your 50’s and beyond, you want someone who is going to be your playmate in life yet more importantly someone who will be there during the tough times when you need each other.

I watched my father take care of my mother as she was dying.

He wiped her brow, took her to her chemo treatments, made her soup, and held her hand when she was scared.

My father is adorable!

Just ask my friends who think he’s amazing.

But he would never have been the most handsome man on the block and would probably have been passed over online by lots of women.

Yet it’s his kindness and the love he radiates from within that women, of all ages, adore about him as they get to know him.

I can’t deny looks are nice. They are.

But, next time you’re reading those online profiles and thinking “Hmm, not so cute” – dig a little deeper and pay attention to what that man brings to the table other than his cuteness and chemistry.

If he writes that he’s kind, nice, loves his animals and his kids – even when he’s not the most handsome guy on a dating site, he still might be worth checking out.


Because he could have a wonderful heart that he wants to share with you.

He could be the man that just wants to make you happy.

And by combining his personality and his looks, well, he just might grow on you and become quite a hottie in your eyes.

The man you nearly passed over in the past, might be like my father was to my mother . . . cute, adorable, loving, and most of all there for you through the ups and downs of life.

And that my friend. is the true mark of gauging a Quality Man.

I would love to hear what you think.


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Copyright© 2020 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.

On May 21, 2020   /   Companionship after 50, Mistakes Women Make Dating After 50, Understanding Men after 50  

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