A societal ill is exposed every four years that casts a dark cloud over America.

And it’s not the Presidential election.

No, this is a far more serious plague.

It’s the tradition of the average American sports fan not only getting a reminder that futbol is the most beautiful game on the planet, but deciding it is their duty to loudly proclaim to anyone and everyone that they know how to make it even better.

Please stop.

If you’ve never awakened at 4 a.m. on a Saturday morning to obsess over whether West Bromwich Albion could find a way to salvage points and avoid relegation to League One, nobody needs to hear your diatribe about how making the goals bigger would increase scoring and better keep your interest.

It’s the most popular sport on earth for a reason. It’s doing just fine.

Certainly nobody needs to hear your take on how soccer needs to adjust the clock to a more palatable countdown model, how you would change the offside rule or how the United States would dominate world competitions if LeBron James simply donned a kit tomorrow.

Hey, it’s at least more likely than him going to the Pistons.

There was even a suggestion overheard at a watch party last week that goaltenders shouldn’t be able to use their hands.

Either choose to spend one month every four years getting wrapped up in the greatest sporting event ever conceived or don’t. But if you’re only going to drop in occasionally, you don’t get to make grand proclamations.

It’s like a distant cousin meeting your kid for the first time when they are 10 years old and giving you a list of things you need to change about the way you are raising them.

Thanks for your opinions, but we got this.

But it kind of works both ways, too.

There is a strong tradition of gatekeeping among us soccer fans that is once again getting a bit out of hand.

Sure, it’s annoying to have these outsiders descend on the sport and pretend to be experts for five weeks every four years. It’s incredibly obnoxious, actually.

There has to be a pathway to new fans and the World Cup certainly provides it. While the type of fans mentioned above are probably never going to be true converts, this is a great opportunity to roll out the welcome mat for those who really do enjoy the game and want to do more than just stick a toe in the water.

It’s not necessary to scream in the faces of those people because they say offsides instead of offside.

And that does happen.

Soccer fans have grown so protective of the game that even the slightest mispronunciation is considered a capital offense and a permanent barrier to entry for a new fan.

Even as this sentence is typed, there is a realization that it may be time to practice what we preach here. It’s reminiscent of how mad us natives get when new residents pronounce Nevada wrong.

Seriously, the “nuh-VAH-duh” folks can just jump back on the road and head right back to wherever they came from.

Soccer fans, however, should find a way to be a bit more encouraging of those who really do want to join their ranks.

The World Cup is supposed to be more than just a tournament. It’s supposed to spur interest in the sport, especially in the host country.

That will never happen when newcomers feel shame or embarrassment in asking simple questions or making the slightest mistake.

Compromise could come on both sides of this issue.

And while we’re on it, how about one shot at being the obnoxious person who suggests rules changes?

Moving penalty kicks to before extra time should be one change FIFA looks at in the future. Too often, the teams get way too cautious during the 30 minutes of extra time as they don’t want to make a crucial mistake.

Well, except for Argentina and Cabo Verde. That was awesome.

But if one team knows they can’t sit back and play for kicks because they have already lost, it would encourage more urgency for at least one of the teams. It’s just a thought.

The game really is fine the way it is, though.

Despite what the loudmouth at the bar checking out his first game wants to tell you.

Contact Adam Hill at ahill@reviewjournal.com. Follow @AdamHillLVRJ on X.

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